It’s called False Start and can be found at http://falsestartstories.wordpress.com Hopefully it’ll be updated every week day.

In the near future I should have some more stuff to chuck up on this poor neglected blog too.

Introducing a brand new mini series!  Bob’s decided to spread his message to the rest of the world and has set his sights on France.

Join him in the first of his French travelogues as he makes his way across the English Channel (or The Anglo-French pond if you’re watching in the future) on a Norfolk Line ferry and stops in French supermarket E.Leclerc to get a bite to eat.  Thrilling stuff!

I’ve never made a New Year’s Resolution that didn’t run along the lines of “Owww, oh God, oh God, I’m never touching booze again”. I’m a great judge of my own ineptitude and understand that there’s no way I’ll be able to keep myself on task for some exercise in self-control or scheduling, I’m far too much of a flakey bastard for that.

Well that all changed on the murky-headed morning of this year’s January 1st.

While cooing at my hangover and soothing it with the first of the books in the lovely bound edition of The Complete Sherlock Holmes I got for Christmas, an idea came to me. What if I promised to read a book a week for the entirety of this coming year?

Surely this is a task that would prove me to be a worthwhile human? And a goal that I could very possibly complete to boot.

In fact, this was a task that would absolve me of any of the many wrong doings I would commit in the coming year.

“I’m sorry for calling you an immoral whore last night. What? I then proceeded to pinch your bottom and tell you I could be the Green Lantern, and you my sexy Power Ring? Well, I’m sorry for that too, but I did finish off the Hemingway that I’ve been reading this morning, so that’s more than atoned for it.”

Green Lantern's power comes completely from willpower...

Februarys just passed and by my count that makes 8 books I should’ve devoured, have I managed to keep on top of it?

So far I have.

I know, I’m as surprised as anyone.

After all this self-congratulatory back slapping for a task that’s not even one sixth complete I might as well go the whole hog and do my lit critic bit, so here’s a quick rundown of the books with added ill-informed and badly written thoughts and notes on each.

• Wittgenstein’s Nephew – Thomas Bernhard

A wonderful book that sees the narrator relating past and present occurrences during his friendship with Paul Wittgenstein, the nephew of philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein, an eccentric and brilliant man who occupies the mental ward of the hospital the narrator is recovering in.

Bernhard writes in a style that bins the grammatical rulebook, he doesn’t use a paragraph break in the whole book. This drives the reader along giving a real feel of the narrator’s inner monologue with cyclic thoughts reaching to the past and present and working in the same way actual thought processes do.

It’s also very funny and apparently contains scathing analysis of Austrian society and the importance of literary prizes in relation to artistic merit. I must confess that I didn’t read too much into either of those points, I was enjoying the ride far too much.
I’d recommend getting this and the only other book of Bernhard’s that I’ve read, The Loser. It seems likely I’ll be reading more of his this year as a number of new editions are due to be published as the year progresses.

• A Study in Scarlet – Arthur Conan Doyle

The first Sherlock Holmes story and as such, the one where Holmes and Watson meet for the first time. I bloody love Sherlock Holmes books and it’s really nice to see Watson being sceptical of Holmes’ abilities, rather than the reverent acolyte he’s no choice but to become in later stories as companion and witness to his superhuman deductive skills.

If you like a mystery with plenty of pompous sentences then give it a crack.

• The Outsider – Albert Camus

Existentialism then, that’d be this, though I’m still not sure that I know what existentialism means. I’ve looked it up quite a few times in the past, but my inability to retain knowledge has waded in since then and barged it out of my brain. It’s the same reason I can’t remember any jokes.

Yes I know I could do some research and look it up now, but urmm…

My pitiful lack of knowledge concerning philosophical fields of thought aside, I still enjoyed the book, though if you just read one Camus book I’d recommend The Plague over this.

• The Road – Cormac McCarthy

I blummin’ love Cormac McCarthy and you’ve probably heard plenty of people gushing over this book in the last few years, including Oprah Winfrey who featured it on the Book Club section of her chat show and who McCarthy granted his first television interview at the age of 74.

It follows an aging man and his young son as they make their way across a post-apocalyptic America and it’s rammed with misery, horror, fear and blind, vague hope. Get this and anything else by him that you can get your hands on.

• God Bless You, Mr Rosewater – Kurt Vonnegut

Of all the Vonnegut I’ve read this is easily the one I’ve enjoyed least. Even after skimming the summary of it on Wikipedia I can’t remember a bloody thing about it. I could only truly recommend this to a completist who’s read all of Vonnegut’s other books.

If you’ve read his most famous books Slaughterhouse 5 and Cat’s Cradle, do yourself a favour and read Slapstick and Bluebeard, those two are my absolute favourites of his.

• Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad

Right, this book is universally admired by seemingly everyone that’s read it, and maybe it’s because I’m simple minded, but I couldn’t get on with it at all. I found the text ridiculously dense and as I read it my mind wandered all over the shop, causing me to reread sections of it over and over and over again. It just couldn’t hold my attention.

You probably shouldn’t pay any mind to what I say about this book, it’s short, so you might as well read it for yourself and then come back later and deride me for being a thicko.

• Revolutionary Road – Richard Yates

A beautiful novel concerning the aspirations of the doomed Wheelers, a 1950s couple who consider themselves superior to their suburbanite neighbours. (I more or less copied that word for word from Wiki, I promise to take notes as soon as I finish books from now on.)

Highly recommended, I will be grabbing more Yates books shortly.

What’s that? Yes I know that’s only seven books and I should’ve read eight by now, but cut me a bit of slack, I’m going to finish two off tonight and that will bring me up to date in time for this Friday.

Is that alright with you? Yeah? Good, so just back off, you animals.

http://www.bob-davies.co.uk

So here’s some of it.

Go on, have a listen to another one.

You can find more of them here.

I’ll share a couple with you now, I’ll probably end up adding a few more of them on twitter with the hashtag #whoku.

City of Death

Mona Lisa smiles
with her sisters; Scaroth’s selves
ripple time’s waters.

The Silurians

Ancient reptiles slept.
Squatters sprouted overnight,
beds became mass graves.

More nerdiness from me later…